


Dragons Are Not Kind

by Unholy_Author



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, I'm Going to Hell, I'm not kidding about the death, M/M, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt, it hurt to write this, really emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 04:51:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7744045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unholy_Author/pseuds/Unholy_Author
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt - "The dragons are actually destroying their master every time they are called upon..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dragons Are Not Kind

**Author's Note:**

> For my friend Ruriska, I hope you enjoy your daily dose of feels.

Hanzo, once again, couldn’t sleep. He sat in the kitchen with his head in his hands and a mug of tea abandoned on the table, quickly cooling. He was exhausted, sore, and something deep in his chest ached. But still, he could not sleep. Hanzo had used the dragons that day.

“How many more times do I have?” He murmured to himself in Japanese. Well, not to himself, to the dragons. It was a question he had asked many times and had never received an answer for. This time was no different. Hanzo sensed movement behind him and grabbed a knife that had been sitting on the counter before hurling it as he whirled around. It sank into the wall as the figure reeled backwards in fear.

“Darlin’?” Jesse asked cautiously. He was clearly startled and Hanzo immediately felt guilt and regret sink into his bones. If he’d hurt Jesse… “I woke up and saw ya’d split, so I came to check on ya. Are ya alright?” He asked as he came into the kitchen and eyed the now-cold tea.

“Fine.” Hanzo lied. Jesse let out a soft chuckle and sat in the chair next to his fiancé.

“Darlin’, ya know I ain’t one ta contradict ya but we both know that’s a mighty lie right there.” He said gently. He reached to entwine their hands but Hanzo moved his hand away as though he hadn’t noticed the movement. From the look of hurt on the cowboy’s face it hadn’t been nearly as subtle as Hanzo had meant for it to be.

“I am fine.” He repeated.

“And I’m still in Deadlock.” Jesse countered lightly. He didn’t make another move to touch Hanzo, for which the smaller man was grateful. His nerves were wound too tightly and he wasn’t sure what he would do with the contact.

There were several moments of expectant silence before Hanzo finally spoke.

“The dragons drained me today.” He said calmly. Jesse raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, I’ve noticed they have a bit of a habit of doin’ that to ya.” Hanzo glared at him and bit off a sarcastic comment before it could fall from his lips.

“Jesse, you do not understand. What are my dragons?” Jesses kicked his feet up onto the table and laced his fingers behind his head, ready for a long conversation.

“The way ya told me was that they’re spirit dragons or somethin’ along them lines.”

“Yes, that is correct. But that spirit has to come from somewhere.” Hanzo prompted. Jesse lit a cigarillo and took a long drag. He still didn’t get it, it seemed. “Jesse, every time I use the dragons I tear a piece of my soul of and throw it away.” Feet thumped to the floor. The chair legs squealed against the linoleum as it was roughly shoved backward and Jesse was suddenly on his feet with no real memory of telling his body to stand.

“Ya what?” He breathed.

“They are spirit dragons, you know. Where did you think that spirit came from?” He asked with a sort of grim amusement as he met Jesse’s eyes for the first time during their little meeting.

“I’m dying, Jesse.”

The intense silence that filled the room was broken only a moment later as Jesse stomped out his brand new cigarillo into the floor.

“The hell ya are!” He growled angrily. “How long have ya been keepin’ this little tidbit from me, huh?” His voice was low and reminded Hanzo of a man trying desperately to hold on to composure he never had.

“I’ve known for my entire life.” Hanzo said. His own composure was quickly wearing thin and he was already looking for an exit.

“Don’t ya fuckin’ dare walk out on me, Hanzo Shimada. You’ve kept this from me the entire time we’ve known each other, the entire time we’ve been together. I have a right to know this!” He said, yelling by the end.

“And I have a right to keep my secrets!” Hanzo yelled back, standing as well.

“Not from me, ya don’t! I’m your…” His voice suddenly lost its force and dropped to a whisper. “… I thought we were close enough to trust each other.” Hanzo sighed and dragged a hand down his face.

“That’s not what I meant, fool. I knew you’d react like this and I didn’t want you to w…”

“Hanzo, I swear ta god if ya finish that sentence with the word ‘worry’ I’m goin’ ta shove an arrow so far up your ass it’ll actually see the light of day.” He snarled warningly. Hanzo tensed and his face hardened. They rarely fought, but it was winding up to the point where there was very little choice but to argue with him.

“It is my place to consider what is best for you. Sharing this information will lead to you becoming more protective of me in the field when I do not need it.”

“Don’t fuckin’ need it? DON’T FUCKIN’ NEED IT? Ya just told me you’re dyin’, dammit! I want ya alive!” Jesse shouted.

“Hey, are you guys okay? I heard yelling.” Jack said, sticking his head into the kitchen. Obviously he’d been woken up by the screaming match.

“Get out.”

“Fuck off!” Hanzo and Jesse said at the same time, each glowering at the interruption. Jack wisely left with wide eyes and, they were sure, more questions than he had showed up with. They turned back to each other, chests heaving and glaring at their partner unwaveringly. At last, Jesse broke the silence.

“Darlin’ ya can’t do this ta me.” He says. His voice is hoarse and slightly broken in a way Hanzo had never heard before. It grated on his nerves and made him feel both guilty and upset. Hanzo tried to rely on his training, to block the distraction, to keep a straight face, but in the end his emotions won out over his head.

“I do not know what I am doing.” Hanzo admitted quietly. “I know that I should not use the dragons as often as I do, but I cannot help it. When I see you, I mean when I see any of the agents in danger and I know that the dragons could save them I have to do it. Do you understand? I have to, Jesse.”

“But…I…” Jesse’s lower lip trembled slightly and his chin wrinkled in his attempt to stop what was obviously coming. Hanzo sighed harshly and stepped closer to the man, allowing Jesse to pull him into a tight embrace. 

Jesse wrapped his flesh arm around Hanzo’s middle and buried his prosthetic hand in the smaller man’s hair, unraveling the ribbon ever so slightly. He rested his forehead on top of his head and began to sob as quietly as he could.

“I love ya, ya sonuvabitch.” He gasped out. Hanzo wrapped his arms around Jesse’s waist and rested his own head against the man.

“I love you too. That is why I kept this from you. I do not want our time together to be clouded by this fact.” The hand in his hair tightened.

“I love ya.”

“We have just discussed this.” Hanzo said a little irritably. 

“I love ya.”

“I love you too, fool.”

They stood like that for several minutes, holding each other and thinking of what their future, or lack of, would be like. Almost sensing Hanzo’s pessimistic thoughts, Jesse spoke.

“How long do ya have?” Jesse whispered.

“I do not know. It will depend on how often I use them.” Hanzo replied honestly. He could feel his eyes begin to burn but refused to acknowledge it. Shimada men did not cry.

“Then I’ll be on yer ass like fleas on a dog, darlin’. As long as I’m around ya ain’t ever usin’ ‘em ever again.” Jesse said. Now that he was done crying he just sounded determined. Determined and resigned.

“You do not sound pleased.” Hanzo noted dryly. He thought that he could blink away the water in his eyes as long as Jesse did not begin crying again.

“I’m thinkin’.” Jesse replied.

“About what?”

“What we need ta do before ya use ‘em again. There’s this ramen shop I found in Hanamura, and a little garden behind and Italian place in London. There’s a museum I went ta in Brooklyn once. I never much cared fer it, but it’s right up yer alley and I’d like to go with you. If we don’t know how much time ya got we need to do it soon. I’ll put in fer some leave.” Unbidden, tears began to fall from Hanzo’s eyes.

“I love you.” He said, gripping Jesse tightly.

“I love ya too, but we gotta talk about how we’re gonna keep ya from usin’ the dragons.”

“We will discuss it later. I love you.”

~~~~~

Almost a year later, high up on a roof in King’s Row, Jesse was crying again. His heart-broken wails filled the air even with the sounds of battle behind them while his heart-broken body held a broken man. He rocked back and forth on his heels and clutched the man to his chest. The man was perfect in every way. There was no blood spoiling his perfect hair, there was no wound marring his perfect skin, and there was no distress souring his perfect face. There was also no soul, no spirit in his perfect body.

“I love ya.” He sobbed. “I love ya.” The words were whispered and screamed and murmured like a prayer. They spilled from his lips endlessly in a torrent he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. He wanted desperately to see the look of exasperation on the other man’s face at the declaration. He wanted the words to be echoed back to him in a much more formal manner. He wanted...

“Hanzo, baby, darlin’, don’t do this ta me.” He whispered. “Please. Don’t do this ta me.”


End file.
